I recently travelled to Edinburgh. I didn’t travel for business or pleasure.

During my short leg walk around Scotland’s cobbled capital, I couldn’t help but sense a whiff of mysticism. I’m sure you sense something similar. Perhaps not. But I’m sure you will agree that certain locations or places captivate indescribable senses. Perhaps I just need a wife… and a life!

For me, I see EK as my home, despite trying my utmost to flee my hometown with regards to employment. Glasgow is a profound fatal attraction that is making positive headway to much needed revitalisation. There is something about the people in Glasgow that stir my heart, and believe me, I have seen quite a few characters in my time.

Meanwhile, Edinburgh has an air of mysticism. Perhaps it’s the historical roots of the Reformation movement and the theological teachings of John Knox. Or perhaps it’s JK Rowling’s personal journey with Harry Potter, as she came to learn of her faith and identity.

One of the reasons why I found myself in Edinburgh was from collective conversations with my Mum and a security guard on two separate occasions.

There is a mature security guard whom I confide my thoughts and heart with. We are not shy to talk about the ‘casual’ themes of everyday life. In fact, we are both very open and honest towards each other, despite our limited time to chat with one another. He has also been very generous to me, which I am full of gratitude.

There is also more than meets the eye of an outward security guard. He was a sales executive who worked for some of the biggest companies and household brands, and he has also dabbled in several enterprises himself. He also has military experience, and when you see past his nuances and Victor Meldrew rants, he is a genuine guy. I consider him more genuine than some Christians whom I have met in my lifetime, and believe me, I have seen quite a few characters in my time.

Lately, I reopened my heart to him with regards to this Kingdom-focus vision – of course, sharing only the barebones. He shared his insight and wisdom on my current frustrations and voiced an honest warning with regards to the job front. I get that it’s not all about money, and I admit, the money issue has been tripping me big time as of late. I am considering rethinking my future prospects in that respect, as it is greatly time consuming. Ultimately, I ought to focus on the bigger picture instead.

Reactive Heart

I obviously don’t need to prove I can do skill X, Y, and Z. I am not being arrogant, I just don’t need a particular job to tick a box on my CV to say I’ve done it. In fact, I can literally go the extra mile to design a faux tick in Adobe Illustrator that I can mount on my wall using a professional printer service. Why? Because I don’t need to prove to others of my credentials. What I should be taking seriously is my faith and relationship in the LORD, as I mature and better learn how I can serve God effectively in the greater community outside the walls of a local church. My goal in life is not to please man, but the LORD God my Creator. The main trigger that I am facing is chasing a larger pay-cheque, which has been triggering unusual impulses in my heart. I don’t know how others can get away with it, but for me, it’s a haunting burden.

As much as I love my parents dearly, I want to secure a flat in the city centre of Glasgow and curb on the daily commute. However, for me to sustain myself financially, I *need* to attain a certain salary to counter the 20% tax and National Insurance contributions above my basic allowance that is tax free. However, the more I overly focus on salary count like Scrooge McDuck, then the mindset eclipses this Kingdom-focus vision to near oblivion, as my flesh wrestles to settle down – even though my heart is concerned that there is much work to be achieved in the fields.

Put it this way, the same startup money I hope to obtain in order to prototype this secondary component is the financial equivalent to a 10% deposit for a 1-bedroom flat in Glasgow. This is partly why I am deliberately fixated on the original plan that demands a higher investment, because only the LORD God can provide for that ludicrous amount. And since experiencing the most unusual confrontation last Thursday morning, I would rather focus on the original plan for safety sake.

My trip to Edinburgh spurred three emotions: glee, fear and desperation. I sadly cannot comment on the first emotion, as I don’t know if it’s God’s will for me. However, I was pleasantly surprised that I actually had a good experience and I felt encouraged as a result.

In addition, there was a sense of fear as a result of the initial glee, as it may affect my physical standing. My heart will always weep for the poor. I don’t see why a different location will shift my heart, nor should it change my focus with this Kingdom-focus vision. It may even force me to advance the inner dealings of this Kingdom-focus vision due to the culture shock of my potential new surroundings.

I also sense an emotion of desperation in the financial sense and/or change of environment. Again, nothing is concrete until I learn if this is of God’s will – and if it is, then He will provide – as He has faithfully provided in the past.

Of course I am nervous should the outcome swing in a positive light. I literally have no more fingernails to chew or bite. Nobody likes change, even if a circumstance leads to an obvious and positive path. And above all, how does one determine whether a positive confirmation is an answer to prayer or a selfish desire? I have yet to discern whether this is God’s will for me, but the prestige opportunity does tickle my fancy. In my noggin, I see it as a R&D base – despite the pace increasing by three-fold.

Turning Point

On a side note, I learned on Monday that my Dad now wants to return to the classroom and study accountancy. Yes, like out of the blue. He has already enrolled with a local college to study Sage Accounts. Not quite sure what his motivation is, especially when he knows I could be based in another location. Perhaps it’s an answer to prayer that he (finally) wants to be productive with his time, and not be constantly trigger-happy with his Particle Cannons in Command & Conquer: Generals. Bless.

I’m not going to push Dad. However, I did casually say on two occasions that if he takes the Sage Accounts seriously, my original offer still stands and I will fund the formal studies in AAT and/or ACCA through a financially accredited training provider in Glasgow. I did mention my subtle disclaimer that I had shifted my savings to the National Savings & Investments. The reason for shifting my savings outside my bank is that I wish to make a deal with the LORD as it were. I want Him to provide an avenue of income through legal means. Of course, our timing is different to God’s timing.

The passion for this Kingdom-focus vision has reignited to new heights and I am insistent in grounding my two feet firmly on solid ground. I may not be treading on waters, but I am indeed encouraged that my further reading is leading to affirmations that I anticipated was of God’s leading (i.e. financial support). I just need to be careful to balance faith with gut reaction.

Curiously, this renewed passion for this Kingdom-focus vision was triggered since my spontaneous last-minute trip to Edinburgh. With careful thoughts circling around the noggin from my journey home, I was profoundly encouraged to return to a useful business portal using my Edinburgh Library membership, which spawned my never-ending downloads of UK laws and legislations, business guides, industry sector updates and associations – with a good number of documents being updated only this month (June 2017). I have also pinned a valuable market research document which profiles in great detail of all known household brands and competitors here in the UK. It may worth the 3-figure splurge when writing the proposal Plan 2.0 in my initial funding plea.

I also revised my Scottish sources of initial funding and I am glad that my specialised ethical bank is listed as a partner source. The primary reason for targeting a bank for substantial funding is that they are typically not interested in business equity, as they don’t want to run your business should it fold. The reason for targeting an ethical bank is the accountability to practice ethics and honesty. Is there a walk-in branch in my town or city? Nope – but I would rather partner with like-minded people.

In the meantime, I am carefully revising my 4-page business overview as I tweak any relevant changes, as I last penned the document during my season of unemployment. I will use the tweaks to form a story-driven brand, which will push my mind to explore branding and marketing. I am also keen to start thinking about POS and payment options. This marketing (and R&D) phase will play an important role when I communicate the worded vision to suited advisors, as I am eager to turn this to reality – whilst grounding my two feet firmly on solid ground.

I hope to be in a stronger position to have either a business partner or ‘consulting’ business partner to formalise the enterprise and acquire the relevant funding. Strangely, investors are attracted to reading a convincing business plan, but they will not hold your word to it – unless there is a formal agreement. Otherwise, I go solo and I bite my tongue on the chance of acquiring any funding, other than the dead moths inside my wallet.

Failing all of the above, I shall seek a role in Cybersecurity with the State.

~Richard