It’s amazing how distracted we can be in life. For me, it all began when I stumbled upon a YouTube viral video of the T-Mobile’s Royal Wedding via Facebook. A friend on Facebook wanted to celebrate Queen Elizabeth II on her Diamond Jubilee, marking 60 years since her coronation. A few moments later and I was soon watching another amusing video from T-Mobile. This time, it was of a funny video featuring traffic wardens and bemused drivers receiving parking tickets, when in fact they were receiving free cash enclosed inside these mock parking tickets. Before you know it and I was watching videos of creative wedding proposals. What on earth?!

Coincidentally, the day before, I was recommended to read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. Well, that was my perception of dating and marriage some 6-7 years ago. I have since grown out of that singleness phase in life, and I sincerely anticipate God’s ordination of marriage between man and woman.

I used to be quite frustrated during my student days in Dundee, when I came to know of dozens of young people who romantically tied the knot, and I was left twiddling my fingers and thumb thinking I was left out. Thinking about it now, I think I felt lonely in that I thought I had to be in a romantic relationship with a girl, but being me, I was too focused with my studies anyway.

Mind you, I came close to tying up a relationship that would ultimately lead to a hand in marriage, but due to my focused time and commitment to study at seminary, and the fact that I had no reserved finances whatsoever – I had to part with a dear friend, whom she is now happily married. I have no regrets, and I know that she couldn’t wait, as she wasn’t exactly doing anything much with her time. Fortunately, she was never honest with me, so it made my mind more at peace. In the end, she was basically waiting for a knight and shining whatever to sweep her from her feet and get hitched and settle down and produce a house full of screaming kids. However, I’ve always envisioned my wife would serve together with me in some form of Christian ministry. Even if it were missionary work, I would admire the boldness in her faith, as I desire a companion who seeks the LORD in Christian service, and not solely a woman who wants to pad it out in the house, whilst using the ‘mummy time’ on Facebook, while I slave at work earning the doe.

My perception of marriage has changed in that I no longer feel attached to the worldview of marriage that a wedding should be lavishly expensive. Besides, I would rather honour the LORD and have the wedding at a local church, but a church nonetheless. It is a special day, I agree, but it is for one day. I would rather invest in a nice holiday together, and invest money towards a home and mortgage that we can nest and cultivate a family. At least, when it comes to choosing a minister, I will not be short of choices, as I have befriended over two-dozen pastors during my studies at seminary school. I also understand that the LORD wants me to wait patiently, before I am ready for marriage. At least, I have the time to learn from others, and use the time that I have wisely.

Now that I have grown mature over the past 8 years since starting out at university in Dundee, my perception of marriage and dating has changed – to the extent that I simply want to honour the LORD my God. I’ve never been a fan of casual dating, nor do I want to tease or hurt a girl – I’m simply not that guy. I just want to love her, whilst keeping the LORD God as my number one love priority. And yet, I’ve come to realise that it’s pretty hard to find a sincere Christian lady with a heart to serve the Kingdom of God – one who is honest in Godly character, true in her faith with the LORD (and herself) and natural in looks.

Well, whatever status we are at present on this Valentine’s Day, let’s not be distracted in life with ourselves, but instead strive to focus on growing and maturing in our communication with others. The underlying success to true friendships, sustaining relationships and enduring marriages is love.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)

~Richard