Ever since I was discharged from hospital in 2009, from a stomach adhesion mixed with MRSA (as a result of a perforated appendix – weeks earlier), I have accepted the Christian label of being dubbed a Baptist. The word ‘Baptist’ was written alongside my religious status on my discharge papers. I personally refer myself as a born-again evangelical Christian. Maybe it’s best to refer oneself as a sinner. More likely other Christians will get the hint.

Ten years ago, I would never have considered a ‘career’ in Christian ministry doing pastoral care. I kept God in a glass box, and I would only break it in case of an emergency. I was however, ambitious to be a computer games designer and pursue work in California, after realising that my parents couldn’t afford to pay the ridiculous tuition fees if I were to study computer animation in California, only to live and work in the States. It was where the money was to say the least. And despite both the computer games and film industry booming at the time of writing, I have no regrets that I am not currently involved in these exciting industries. However, after some life changing moments from being born-again in 2005, and being spoken to in South Korea about full-time Christian ministry, my personal hopes and dreams quickly dashed. Like everyone else, I make plans and I have ambitions for life, but when the LORD God intervenes and speaks through you in special ways through Scripture, confirmation, discernment and voice, you realise that the plans that you thought would swing your way are not exactly in God’s plans.

Never would I consider a career in Christian ministry, and yet, I sense a growing desire to be part of a radical movement serving the Kingdom of God, despite the political tensions between God’s Word – and what the world wants to believe about how we should live. I no longer fear persecution, and I do not fear death. And since I have a lonely mentality, I do not fear loneliness either. I do however, have issues surrounding ministry and the responsibility and judgement to live a life of integrity – I find it all very daunting. I also enjoy worldly jobs like web / graphic design and photography. I love being creative through different mediums – be it traditional or digital. I know these can be used to glorify God in a certain dimension of producing the best to your ability to such clients in humility and joy, but at the same time, although these jobs can sustain me in comfortable pay, if I were to pursue freelance work – I don’t think they can ever satisfy my soul.

The oddest thing about this calling to Christian ministry is that I’m not a vocal person beaming with self-confidence. I’m not a public speaker, nor have I read the bible from cover-to-cover. And yet, I’ve seen the LORD use me in certain situations of Christian ministry and it’s frighteningly humble how God can use anyone, who is willing to serve others for the Kingdom of God. The past couple of years, I have lived my fears up my sleeve about various issues, such as a future spouse, and personal confidence factors. I am beginning to wonder if the truth has actually been foretold and all that is missing is for me to reply to God and say, “Here, I am LORD.”


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