I wish to reflect on two issues that have been on my heart and mind for a while now. I want to ponder on regrets and relationships.

There are some things in life, where we wish we could have changed something of our past actions, or thought process. As a result, we find a sense of regret later in life. Depending on the situation and timely circumstance, a regret can hinder us from the freedom of a connected and dwelling relationship with the LORD.

What do you do with the regrets of your life, which have shaken your faith and left you pondering on the implications of past outcomes?

In recent months, I’ve been pondering on a past relationship. Even though I felt a heavy burden, I responded with a peaceful heart to leave behind a long-distance friendship. At the time, it was the right thing to do, as I no longer wanted to invest my precious time and money towards a significant other, whom I labelled a friend to pierce my heart with further dishonesty. To this day, she never did recognise that I have the spiritual gift of wisdom. I sensed her attitude and hearts desire, even before we met, and naturally I was curious about relationships. Nonetheless, I am humbled and amazed at how the Holy Spirit can intervene and reveal the inner qualities and characteristics of other people.

And yet my struggle is to find a born-again Christian girl around my age (preferably younger), who is passionate for the LORD and is willing to journey with me – with a view of full time Christian ministry in the context of serving the LORD in pastoral ministry. I still think the most passionate and enthusiastic of born-again Christians are based in the United States, and I strangely have hope of finding one locally, as I have a heart for Scotland and to see a radical revival across this land. Imagine sticking this on a dating website. How odd would that sound to some, who simply want to settle down and raise kids? How simple minded too!

The harvest of this land is great, but the labourers on the field are few.

As I mentioned briefly, my mindless struggles are related to the past, which spiritually – should not bother me today, as my faith has grown, but mentally it still does.

Why do past decisions and outcomes always bother us, and why do we allow them to hinder our present days?

It’s a strange concept, and I’m convinced it’s just a matter of asking and praying to the LORD to purify our hearts and minds that we may live a life of freedom in Christ Our LORD and Saviour.

God-incidentally, I feel an ever-growing desire to love someone special, and to see out a best friend of the opposite sex in Christian love and in a Christ-centred union with a significant other. I also believe the LORD God is dropping a rather subtle hint about my quiet and shy nature in that “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him,” (Genesis 2:18, NLT). I might as well respond to God’s leading and concern for me…


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