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My study desk is a mess. I haven’t seen the entirety of the faux wood of my study desk in ages, and I’m talking years. There was a time where I could literally rest my head and have a wee siesta. There are 6 towers of piled books that are levelling up like wannabe skyscrapers. Some of the stacks even overshadow the height of my desktop monitor (and I don’t use a monitor stand).

I also have another pile of books clustered around the middle of the desk. This stack is full of Disney and Pixar art books, which acts as my improvised standing desk for my laptop. In addition to my countless books, I have screeds of loose paper either reminding me of stuff, or writing pads full of scribbled notes. I typically jot notes using an A5 writing pad, but I’ve lately promoted myself to using an A4 writing pad. You would think I actually live inside a bookstore of some kind!

When one reads articles regarding business start-ups and all things entrepreneurial, industry experts warn you if you want to “succeed” (according to worldly standards) then you better prepare yourself to work hard. I am taking heed at this as I know the LORD can use worldly systems to build for His Kingdom to reveal His glory and majesty here on earth.

The past several weeks, I have found myself praying and seeking the LORD with regards to this Kingdom-focused vision. This prep work has already stretched my mind to think differently, especially when this is a very new area that I am treading in faith. The past week alone has been a rather exciting time of preparation. You could say, I have been researching so much that I am literally overwhelmed with data and articles.

At the time of writing, I don’t even have a finalised business plan (around 90% done), because I am finding so much information about the industry that I am keen to see where God leads in this (God-willing), whilst conforming to a set of God-given blueprints (i.e. the vision, if you will), which I still believe is of the LORD and not my own making. I am however, thankful for being led to very specific articles, industrial advice, guidance from others, and even stumbling upon market research that I find incredibly resourceful, as I continue to prepare and write the best possible business plan.

I still insist that I am NOT doing this for myself or to prove anyone or anything, especially when this Kingdom-focused vision seeks to serve and benefit others. It’s not exactly your typical business, which makes it challenging, yet overwhelming to surrender yourself to God and simply trust in Him.

As a result, I strive to remind myself each day, as I genuinely seek the LORD and ask Him in prayer whether THIS path is of the LORD, and not my wild imagination. You’ve probably read this line of thinking before (and it won’t be the last either), but it’s the only way that I want to ground my heart and focus my eyes on the LORD… always!

All I know is that seeds have indeed been sown into the ground, and cogs are turning forward in a clockwise direction, which suggests a transitioning confirmation that is of the LORD, *but* only in His timing!

So yeah, I simply don’t want to make believe that God could be using me. I am merely asking the LORD, if He *wants* me for THIS purpose. If not, show me otherwise LORD.

The amusing thing is… I am seeing certain confirmations starting to filter in what could be argued as God’s confirmation. One such example is that I saw a very clear and very specific image of the logo, which prompted me to stop my shower earlier than expected, dash across to my bedroom like a caveman and frantically sketch the image on paper before I lost sight.

Another example occurred when I was preparing to tackle the financial forecast of the business plan. I initially thought the initial placeholder figures was something from a magician’s hat. And yet, according to further research, it may well appear to be modest starting figures.

As I shared in my previous reflection, I don’t have a clue to proceed, especially when this vision has nothing to do with computers and the like. And, even though it feels like I am improvising on the go, the guided research and relevant details appear to be very plausible. It wouldn’t surprise me if what I am writing and typing is actually of the LORD – in such a way that He may well be working through me, without me realising that He is working ahead of me and behind the scenes, of a delicate process that I am only beginning to digest and learn day after day.

Meanwhile… I will find out next week if I am successful at securing a short-term (paid) internship close to home. It’s a 4-month stint that will provide some much needed pocket money, but the short-term experience will coincide with the bigger picture in the long-term. But, then again, the LORD knows what He wants of me… and only time and obedience will tell.

~Richard