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My parents are fairly conservative as Christians, but they don’t associate themselves as conservative, which I think is healthy. Well, you don’t see the phrase “conservative Christian” (never mind the word “conservative”) in the Bible, yet we seem to be nilly-willy about labelling ourselves like we belong to a divided religious sect, as opposed to the body of Christ.

I made a new discovery about my parents on Valentine’s Day. They both dated purely… even down to the first kiss.

They started as pen pals. For the early millennial readers, it basically means there were no computers, smartphone or Internet back in those days.

They met in London. They met again in Hong Kong. The third time they met, they married in Hong Kong. They both reside in the UK.

What I genuinely love about my parent’s romantic underlying story is they both genuinely love each other, and they both accept one another for who they are. None of this disposable culture that we live in. And yes, my Dad didn’t exactly seek permission from Mum’s father. Let’s just say, Dad doesn’t converse very well in Cantonese. However, Mum’s mother gave Dad her blessing (and that was before she became a born-again Christian).

Nowadays, you can visit dating websites and you can fill out screeds of online forms like you are applying for a job. You dupe yourself to thinking you are gong to find “the One.” What a load of tosh! Much like those youth-orientated churches who sell discipleship courses to the yuff of today. A load of tosh I say! Dating websites are basically places where you totally overlook God’s will for you, as you think you know best of your favoured type of your future spouse. Meanwhile, we as believers are typically against designer babies, but okay to configure our future spouse to our choosing. Seriously?!

I also cannot help but laugh under my breath of actual conservative Christians, especially those from the States who have a checklist of “qualities” like a bingo scratch card, and once they *identify* the qualities they then think it is God’s plan for them.

I too used to have a physical checklist of qualities, but I no longer associate my discernment and expect to tally every-single-quality to come my way, because there’s no such thing as a perfect wife. It isn’t The Stepford Wives. If we really are Spirit-filled born-again Christians, then the LORD will reveal to us in our hearts and minds, whether to continue with such Christ-centred relationship, and both parties will know when is the right time to move forward and bind that relationship in marriage. The real lesson and true relationship is the marriage element, not the dating or the courting, or the pre-quality assurance… it’s the marriage itself.

Qualities… I know of a brother in Christ who became addicted to drug and solvent abuse when he was an adolescent, was abused when he was younger, and later came to know Jesus Christ as His LORD and Saviour. His wife is a blessed and pure gem. Checklist? I don’t think so! God’s will… definitely!

Earlier today, I felt compelled to tweet an unusual reflection, “Yes, guard your heart, but don’t overguard your heart like you’re some righteous being as to overlook God’s anointing Spirit to be led.”

My point is… yes, we should guard our hearts as brothers and sisters in Christ of the fallacies of this world, especially from those who seek to steal our heart and attention away from Christ. Indeed, we should seek to save that first kiss, and we should definitely save sexual intercourse until marriage. Unfortunately, and perhaps it’s just me, I often feel it’s the “conservative Christian” who often elevate themselves as a righteous believer, like they stubbornly demand that God will provide that pristine person who covers all the never-ending qualities of their Christian spouse bingo card, but fail to see God’s work behind the scenes and in our given situations through the anointing works of the Holy Spirit. Besides, we have more flawed qualities like any other sinner. However, it’s only through Christ that we are made beautiful in Him… and it takes time for one’s harvest (the fruits of the Spirit) to flourish for the glory of God, now and forever more.

~Richard