It is Friday 15th June 2018 and I don’t need to travel into work today.

Yesterday marked my last day of work and I have utmost peace in the LORD, even though nothing formally has been lined up to replace the job that I left behind. It is not even my primary concern or immediate agenda. Even my parents are at peace with my decision. We all know too well as a family that health is more important than money. My parents also know that I can afford to take a risk and a financial hit, as they understand my need to reskill and move on.

I leave behind a job that has tickled my curiosity of a hyperactive career that will likely crash my health. In recent months, I recently burned out on the job – and 30 days ago, I had an emotional breakdown at work – all behind closed doors. All I desired was personable support and sufficient training. It was the promise of training that compelled me with excitement to move on from my previous role.

7 months into the job and I didn’t see supporting evidence of any positive change. And yes, I have voiced my concerns with my seniors and gaffer in-person, but to no avail. Even correct opinions don’t stick with the senior management. Gosh, even my socks have better traction if I were to hurl them against a wall. I know I made the right decision and I also acted on God’s conviction to let go of this job and I trust in Him that He will provide a better replacement for me – something that suits my nature and character.

I concede to the fact that only private companies can afford real-world training through accredited career training paths. However, you often need to exchange your soul to secure such placement. Other sectors are useful starting blocks to propel you with hectic work experience, which can leverage your landing elsewhere.

In the public sector however, you essentially wing-it, which doesn’t go well with my conscience or work ethic. The context behind one’s decision is brushed underneath the carpet, which doesn’t help to learn why certain ways are achieved – other than the political red tape. Hence, the Company sought young millennials, mostly the face of a ‘Yes Man.’

Curiously, I’ve seen other roles of the same nature within the public sector, all of which are throwing more money than what I was earning, but I’m happy to let it fly past me. Even at £35k – a £10k increase working in the same red-tape culture and stiff environment isn’t worth a dime. It’s not worth working alongside folk who don’t know what they’re doing – or those who choose to keep the information to themselves.

Why is it a big ask to have the desire to learn and grow in a role and NOT wing-it for a living?

On a personal level, it’s a big relief to break away from my legalistic contract, as I am officially free to create, design and pursue personal projects. It’s a nice feeling to measure a regular heartbeat – and already, it’s time for my inner emotions to move on with everyday life.

I will still be getting up at 5am to start my day as normal and I have re-activated my membership with Treehouse, whilst taking advantage of a 50% discount on my first returning month. Cheers Ryan Carson and Team Treehouse!

I have already proposed a training plan to retrain myself in technical and creative skills for the future. I have set an initial 2-month plan.

I will mostly be focusing on programming and cloud technologies, as they are worth the effort to learn. I will weave creative projects at the weekend and I have the flexibility to mix and match. Above all, I don’t need to commute, which will save me much time, energy and money. Now that I’ve seen the technological infrastructure and working cultures and attitudes of different organisations, I have a grasp to adopt best practices for future endeavours.

I get why I have been incredibly frustrated with work. It’s the snail pace workflow of departmental paperwork, laid-back attitudes and the cannot-be-bothered mentality. It’s the people who think they own a bigger island than Richard Branson. However, it’s only their egos that have the capacity and distance to reach Uranus.

I find it strange that these negative characteristics drive me up the wall – more than it should, unless the LORD wanted me to experience a polarised and messy workplace to learn lessons for the future. I realise that the underlying problem doesn’t always fixate on a particular sector, but more of the corporate culture that stems from the direct senior heads.

However, I am more convinced it’s a country issue. For example, I think Hong Kong is more efficient than Britain. I have once opened a bank account in-person in East Asia, and it was processed in less than 1-hour. To open a bank account in Britain during the same year period would require 30 days. I am certain the 30-day period is to safeguard the complacency of common staff from the mindless chatter during working hours, whilst the Company revenue plummets due to constrained productive time. Why do you think Unions are so popular in this country?

Perhaps my inner frustration relates to the fact that my natural instinct is to be proactive and achieve effectiveness in a given workload across the board.

The game-changer question is can attitudes be changed to adopt effectiveness within a given sector or workplace?

Changing any rule that targets the human brain and heart is a life-long commitment and there is no guarantee that success will be achieved. Even 21st century ministers preach to the converted, but the call to mission and witness within a congregation is too casual to penetrate the state of this world.

It’s weird that we live in a generation that is more focused on personal rewards and benefits than passion.

Back in the day, footballers played for the love of the game. Nowadays, there are some Oscar-winning acrobatic actors and Olympic-deserving athletes that command multi-million pound contracts, which often attract goal, assist and appearance bonuses. In addition, there are agent fees, signing-on fees and contractual sponsorship deals with household brands. Above all, a footballer can still be paid handsomely – simply by sitting on the bench. 90 minutes of pure joy, simply watching your teammates chase a ball on a given salary that is the equivalent to countless hours worked on a real job – sign me up for the No. 2 goalkeeper!!

Allow me to return back to the job-with-benefits mindset and the passion department.

I can see the development of one’s passion be a hindrance to the extent of keeping oneself at bay from engaging with a wider circle of influence and the interaction of people. For me, it doesn’t help when I naturally like the solitude. I often live by the mantra ‘if you want something done – do it yourself’ because I know it’s true. Despite the mantra, I know when to ask for help, and lately, I have been asking for much help – most of which has been directed at God.

I may be waking up with a plan and desire to learn, grow and achieve small tasks in everyday life, but I don’t know where God wants me to be, other than to live out my Christian faith for His glory.

Perhaps, that is all the LORD asks of us… to be authentic with Him and accountable with fellow believers in Christ. It’s a shame we are too prideful to acknowledge the need for the wider body of Christ to function effectively for the Kingdom of God.

Forgive me LORD.

~Richard