It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear – not now, not several of hours immediately after settling back home from the very meeting I had made the effort to prepare and attend. It was a polite, yet contradictory rejection response that silenced my heart. At least it was received before the expected Monday. It just means that I may be sad in my Spirit over the next couple of days.

It seems like ears prefer to listen to exaggerated responses, compared to a show-me-the-evidence showdown. Why do you think Presidents and Prime Ministers are in positions of power? Is it because they are honest and full of integrity, or because their words conjure a sweet-tasting aroma that appeal to our ears only? After all, we live in a world of extroverts, and yet, it’s the quiet one’s that often make an impact in this world.

The irony of the rejection is that I am convinced that I have the proven practical experience to get the job done. I also tick *all* the ‘desired’ skillset through years of commercial experience, yet I still couldn’t cut the mustard. I really wish better-paid jobs had actual practical tests based on the advertised role. Manufacturing wishy-washy interjections of spoken word is not an effective way to prove one’s practical experience.

Anyhow… it is now my past, which I must move on from. Nor did I want to spend time to reflect on this either. Unfortunately, I feel compelled to reflect on this ‘past’ experience, purely to voice my question to God, ‘WHERE is it to be?’

At least I have gained further understanding in yet another software package, Salesforce. I will likely subscribe myself a copy to use for personal endeavours.

So far, I have been revisiting HTML5 which is refreshing. I am glad I returned back to the restarting the front-end web development track to a newer edition, as there were HTML elements and techniques that I never knew was available to the front-end web developer. This week, I shall be tackling CSS3.

I recognise that HTML5 and CSS3 are not true programming languages compared with JavaScript, C# and Java, but it’s a nice feeling to be starting out from scratch and prototype working designs, as one works towards fanciful solutions in a digital canvas.

In the short term, I hope to combine my eventual knowledge in HTML, CSS and JavaScript to prototype apps. I have tallied 13 projects associated in app development, though I will tackle the low-key projects that I can muster with low overheads and develop my skills and understanding from there. I look forward to tackling a mobile app based on the Kingdom-focus vision.

The underlying ambition still stands. For me personally, I want to equip myself to better understand and utilise practical programming for technical endeavours, especially as we live in a digital world – where the reality is shielded behind a rectangular pane of glass. I feel sorry for God to see the image of God be reduced to this sorry state. And it’s a worse time to be preaching your lungs out to the generation of tomorrow, when their focus is on digital mediums and technology. I genuinely find it challenging to sustain that hope to reach out to others, when hearts are attracted to unworthy prizes. Even I find myself getting caught up in the hype of this world.

Even I find myself getting caught up in the hype of this world over the earthly materials. One shouldn’t be placing one’s hope on man – not even regarding a paid job that provides a good source of income. Nor should one be banking on the benefits of a contract including BUPA health insurance or 8x the salary of a bereavement pay-out that equates to £259,200. But really, one should lean on the LORD, who provides immeasurable comfort, everlasting peace, enduring hope and eternal life. As a flawed human, I struggled to write that truthful statement.


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