In an outer body experience, I could see myself be tempted to compromise my faith in the LORD in order to woo a “godly” wife. Why “godly” and not “Godly”? Because in layman’s terms, the millennial wife-to-be is likely a worldly snowflake who aligns her beliefs with celebrity-endorsed movements driven by the mainstream media. I know this because I can read your Timeline.

Personally, I live by Philippians 4:8 (NLT), which has been my life verse since I was born-again on Friday 4th February 2005.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Truth be told, why should I devour my content single life to compromise God’s blessing for me and my growing walk with the LORD purely to ratify my marital status?

I believe that divine unity in Christ is achieved in marriage when man and woman exchange vows and two become one. The put-on-show in the middle is purely for the guests and vanity Facebook likes. Nowadays, you can hire creative agencies who often carry Canon and Sony dSLR cameras on handheld gimbals and camera dolly systems to capture that Back to the Future moment.

However, it’s the underlying exchange of one’s love for one another that takes place well BEFORE the wedding. It is often spoken and cherished in that memorable proposal which most folk often remember vividly.

Meanwhile, the reality of that declaration and promise to exert that love for one another occurs AFTER the wedding event. The time in-between seems like a cooling-off period to determine who will cop out and walk away.

With these pointers to consider and remind myself for later, I am choosing to pursue a life-changing decision that will ultimately determine where I will base myself to settle for the long haul (career-wise). Is it the posh-spoken mystical Capital on top of the hill? Is it the world-renowned City down south, which looks great on your CV but is only meaningful if your agenda is the career ladder? Perhaps, it’s the poor man’s City across the Shire that caters to a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career… *clears throat*

Since late summer of 2018, I have been considering overseas, which again I am open to explore. It just bugs me as my parents are knocking on retirement and I’m an only child who has nothing to lose. Mumsy is happy to let go of me, as she knows God will look after me. Daddio only thinks about grandkids and I know it’s the only ambition on his heart for me.

And for the record, I WANT to be a Godly husband to my Godly wife and a Godly dad to my kids. I just find myself in a wildly ironic situation because during these past few years, I have been confiding myself in the LORD – purely because I don’t have fleshy, lustful cravings to chase a bird.

Meanwhile, I still want to stupidly use God’s (my) time and grow my physical skills to help others in this Kingdom-focus vision. I feel like I have an extroverted heart for the LORD, but I am encased inside an introverted body. Above all, I am looking at a sustainable business model beyond what I already have on paper.

Ideally, I want to partner with my wife, but only if she is a suitable helper for my quiet nature. It could be argued that I am looking for a woman of God with an ambitious heart for the LORD. So far, I’ve only met Christian women who just want to avoid the isolation of loneliness and simply want to settle. For the most part, that is fine… but I personally find it a sticky annoyance. After all, doesn’t God not fill the lonely void of a human heart – if we focus our heart, soul and mind on Him?

The notion of calling on Ms Millennial, when the LORD gives you His wisdom to see through people and situations is frightening. The other reason for reskilling myself is that I want to be able to work from home and be available to support my wife and see my kids, whilst be available for each family member. And with more jobs going digital and programming roles being more flexible for working families, I am happy to work towards that challenging path.

Although I have looked at jobs with money symbols across my eyes, I’m not entirely motivated by money. I know when to draw the line on my deceiving heart with regards to desiring and needing money.

The same applies when pursuing a Godly wife. Most folk go for looks and they hope for the best. For those hearts, God is placed second in the pecking order and folk will see God as a by-product. Again, I cannot help but value my relationship with the LORD that He needs to be my first true love, even BEFORE my future wife – and yes, even before everything else including careers, materials, and Kingdom-focus visions, etc. And I am confident that my Godly wife will understand this truth.

And yes, I fear being with the wrong person, a reality that nearly consumed me 9 years ago. My time is too precious to waste on a dishonest friend. I also fear Ms Millennial who calculates her options (and plays the rebound card), because she either hasn’t achieved anything in her life, or she’s stuck in a dead-end job, or she is feeling the pinch in her age.

As for me… I’ve always been stubborn in my faith – and I know, I will STILL desire the “Godly” wife over the “godly”. It’s a tough ask, but I trust the LORD will provide in His time. I will not allow my heart to flow with the winds of society at every change of direction. I’m sure there is the equivalent characteristic and quality that folk desire in a marriage and that’s called faithful.

~Richard

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