Earlier this evening. I have been scouring my study desk for a single sheet of A4 paper. I am (still) certain this sheet contains my sketched ideas for my fantasy football project that I planned to code.

Annoyingly, I cannot find this sheet of paper with my annotated notes. Instead, I unintentionally gutted out my study desk, which is a whole lot tidier and much appreciated. I never had any intention to clean my desk this week – never mind today, which is often your stereotypical pursuit as you roll in the New Year. Coincidentally, I am now mentally and physically prepared for 2020.

Unlike last year, my study desk is more coding orientated. I still have essential reading for this Kingdom-focus vision.

Both tidy stacks co-relate with one another. However, I am letting go of the easy notion of a quaint setup that is so commonplace – it lacks originality and it bothers me that such workplaces merely tick a generic box. Throwing money is the easy part, but I want to focus on discipleship. I still retain a key USP that I want to disrupt, however I am going to triangulate my angle to tap across several additional industries. It will literally make or break me.

I realise that I am also two reflections away from closing my story concerning the ‘Operation Perforation’ series. I have genuinely been busy at work and knocking on select doors of opportunity over the past 3 months that I haven’t found the time or focus to bring spiritual closure. Spiritually and mentally, I want to close the spiritual wound of my perforated appendix. However, it also involves sifting through a skeleton in my IKEA closet regarding unshared emotions that I have already put away, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… so much so, that I had to use a shredder as a way of surrending physical things at the foot of the Cross.

God-incidentally, I never expected to pen a reflection either, but I am choosing to act on what I sense is a gratifying and spiritual awakening.

The latter is profoundly interesting and partly relates to the past 3 months in pursuing select doors of opportunity. I am looking to move on from the nest, ideally in the City. There is much that I want to boldly pursue and self-develop that I am hampered if I remain base here, despite my close relationship with my folks and the comfort of being local. However, I can smell the stench of my soul the longer I remain and twiddle my fingers and thumbs.

There are two reasons for moving. One of them is to seek an eventual role with a multinational company. There are many factors to why I seek such opportunity. However, the other reason is equally significant. I wish to rekindle with the Church and network with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in an urban environment. I am still considered the targeted demographic, as I am still single and a border-line millennial. I am hoping to meet some ambitious believers too, but for that to happen, I need to be ambitious myself and get out of the boat and walk in faith.

I also noticed something odd within me last week. I was compelled to download and install the latest Logos bible software on my workstation PC. I haven’t touched Logos since seminary school, which is nearly 10 years ago. Fortunately, I still retain the original license and Logos willingly updated my digital library of some 1,700 titles. I kid you not, I am a digital hoarder. One of the reasons for rekindling myself with Logos is to read the Bible in chronological order… no matter how long it takes!

The other odd thing that happened was when I was browsing through my bulk e-mail account. I came across a newsletter advertising a Christmas sale on my favourite Bible app (the Tecarta Bible). Upon browsing the catalogue of titles, I picked a few eBooks including: the ESV Study Bible, the Believer’s Bible Commentary, and The One Year Bible.

They sit digitally alongside my select Bible translations including the NLT, ESV, NIV and NASB. I am very picky when it comes to translations, but I personally favour the triune combo of the NLT (to match my current literacy – plus the Word speaks to me), the ESV (to match my conservative walk with the LORD), and the NASB for the most literal translation that doesn’t read like a Shakespeare novel.

So yeah, I continue to grow confident in the LORD and I am still resting in Him as I am slowly being healed of the spiritual toxins and burnout from previous vocational works and congregational gatherings. I continue to place my faith and trust in the LORD for His daily provisions and I look forward to seeing His blessings in whatever shape and form they come.

Meanwhile, I hope and pray that I can tread the ocean waters in progressing my technical skills that I can glorify the LORD in what He is calling me to pursue and develop. I don’t know where the next door of opportunity is located, but I am no longer afraid of what lies behind the door – whether it is of my timing, or in God’s perfect timing. He is just and He will reveal all, when I am ready to receive.

As for my ‘lost’ sheet of A4. I have a new clean sheet ready to jot down new markings. Life is like a blank canvas, awaiting for us to make our mark. What legacy do you want to leave behind for others to acknowledge and witness?

~Richard

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